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i cut my hair
and i shaved my beard
you told me theres nothing left for you here
you teared up and choked
said "i love you, but i'm leaving to the west coast"

the snow kept falling into may
all i wanted was to keep you safe
what a brilliant display of hate
when i love you but you don't feel the same way

i cut my loses
and you cut your ties
but i can tell where you struggled to keep this alive
and tying the rope together
won't make it hold any better

the weather let me down this summer
when you ran back to him, to a love of another
and i just wanted to be
the one that you called when you thought of home
when you thought of high school
and looked back through your yearbook
and beside the picture of me it reads
"i loved this, but theres nothing left for you in this city"

and your eyes are so comforting but the heaviness of your words passes down your throat like smoke through a screen door and weighs you down like i never could. the bruises on your knees say more then the shallow breaths and shallow words you speak. i wish your brain was farther from your mouth so you could mean the words you breathe. and honestly i'm nothing maybe i was made to be torn apart I'm not ready for a new start. dear god the mistakes i've made have been evened by karma, my hands are always shaking i'm trying so hard to keep them steady, i'm concentrating too much, breathing through tired lungs, i'm shivering so much my grave must be a dance floor is that what you wished for? the shallow waters crash inside your head leaving your eyes the bluest they've ever been, you coexist as i wash away and become irrelevant. the rosary beads you gave me are slowly fading i can't eat, i can't sleep, i can't dream of anything besides you i wake up everyday on a damaged sofa in an empty living room, i don't want to call home again to a house where no ones answering but i'm so homesick, i'm so nervous i'll write my deathwish in your favourite lipstick. is this sinking in yet? i'd like to think the emptiness won't last more then a weekend, but theres nothing i can say and theres nothing you could do to stop me from crying over you.

i wish i felt the same way
but i've accepted the things i can't change




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year over year Calgary, Alberta

I'm Dorian and this is year over year.
sad acoustic music from my basement.

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